Day 559

     I have no idea how I have next to no motivation anymore. At first, although hard, I was actually TRYING. My mood is down, for no reason in particular, and I have absolutely no desire to diet or work towards making myself a better person. This of course makes me kind of depressed and ultimately adds to it! What a sick cycle I have going on here.
    I work about 80 hours a week. My spare time is so limited that my DVR records more than I have the free time to watch. Not to mention when I get home I crash. I just lay down and enjoy the lack of movement. Mornings have never been great for me, but lately they're worse, making it hard to get myself out of bed to workout before work. My one day off a week is what I use as an excuse. You know, 'it's my only day off, why should I do things I don't want to do on it?'. Yep, use that line every week over and over in my head.
    I need to find something to give me back the same motivation that I used to have. It's my birthday in a little under 2 weeks. I had before made it a goal to be under (or right around) 200 lbs by then. I am realistic enough to admit that it will not be happening. I have actually PUT ON weight since I made that goal. This roller coaster I'm riding is making me sick, and I just need to get off of it. I know enough now to know that until I fix my attitude I'm not going to be able to fix everything else. So, until next time, I will be trying to find what makes me happy, what makes me feel more energetic and able to conquer the world (or at least the treadmill) while trying to avoid eating things that I know are awful for me (ie: fast food, pizza, etc) and learning to eat smaller proportions. I will hope to begin calorie counting in another week or two along with new regular workouts. Wish me luck!

This is day 559 on my (what seems like permanent) weight loss journey, and I weigh 232 lbs.

-K

Day 531

     Can you believe it? It's been an entire year since I've posted (and dieted). You've heard of falling off of the wagon? I fell of  Everest and it's taken me this entire time to climb back to the top. I'm writing now 9 pounds heavier than when I left. At a whopping 224 lbs I'm ready to reclaim my rightful place on the skinny throne.
      I've recently started doing some running. By "doing some running" I mean doing some jogging. By "doing some jogging" I mean a little jogging and a lot of walking. It's hard to pick up on. I'm naturally worn out quickly trying to lift ALL OF THIS off the ground multiple times in a row, but on top of that finding time to drag myself out of my bed in the morning is difficult on a whole new level.
      My job comes with a lot of responsibilities, but one of them is baking. Cakes, cookies, puddings, pies... you name it, I've made it and foamed at the mouth of the idea of not being able to taste it. They say that most of your sense of taste is actually your sense of smell. They smell WONDERFUL but it sure isn't like tasting them that's for sure! I've tried making a "healthy" cookie, no dice. Not only are they hard to come by but once I eat a cookie my mind instantly races to "Already ate a cookie, why not some chips to wash that down?". This process is what has made me decide to cut out almost all carbs.
    
This is Day 531 and I weigh 224 lbs.

Day 143

So happy belated St. Patty's Day! Last night was my first day I drank in.... 142 days! I am so proud that I made it that long. I couldn't drink as much as I used to but go figure-- I've basically lost a sixth grader off my hips! I also don't feel like I need to drink anymore. I felt kinda crappy afterwards/today even though I had about 1/2 the drinks I normally would have (or less!).  Oh well, back to my weight loss! As of last Thursday (3 days ago) I weighed 215 pounds. 16 more and I'll be under 200, which is going to be SO great! I can't weight (<--- GET IT?!) Okay, Maybe I'm still a little drunk. While I sleep this off I'm going to dream of fitting into a size 14!

Goodbye 6 more pounds!

Day 129

Well, I've only lost a tiny amount of weight since my last post. I was 231, right? Well as of last Wednesday I was only 221. So 10 lbs in about a month. A little depressing but at least I'm still LOSING... just slowly! I found some pretty delicious TV dinner type meals by "Healthy Choice". Some of them even come with a dessert so it's a nice treat (by dessert I mean like apple and cherry cobbler type thing, sans breading-- but anything sweet is amazing!). I try not to eat them too often though, but making my own dinner for one every night is a little taxing. I'm just too busy with other things at the moment. This last week I have worked out 3 times though! Haha, sounds NORMAL or even less than NORMAL for some people but for me it's a large improvement. Of course it's been miniscule amounts of time but I'll keep working on that.

Next weigh in is in a few days, I'll be happy with even 1 more lb lost. Please no plateauing/gaining!!

Also, I'm hoping to introduce myself back into the 210's! I can't believe that it's already been 70 lbs lost. I should be very proud of myself. Yay! 70 down, about another 70 to go. Halfway!

Day 104

Wow, over 100 days. I never thought I would make it this far. I have been 100 days with no alcohol, no pizza, and no potatoes! Unfortunately though, my weight loss has dropped and I'm only losing 2-3 lbs a week now. I'm sure if it would be back up around 5lbs a week like it used to be, but I just can't get in the habit of working out regularly. If I get out and do something physical once a week, it's a good week. I just need more energy!

So, this is day 104 and I weigh 231 lbs. :)

Day 71

   I weighed in yesterday at 5 more pounds lost. This is all starting to feel much more real now, and friends and family around me are starting to notice the difference in my size. It makes me feel much better, since I can't really notice it yet. I mean, I suppose my clothes are fitting better but from just looking at myself, I can't tell. One more pound and it will make it 50 lbs that I lost! Sounds so much better than 40! 50... half of a hundred pounds! Which means that I'm a little over 1/3rd of the way to my goal weight.
    This marks the end of day 71. And I weigh 241 lbs.

Day 65

   I'm past the two month mark! Eating healthier is starting to become more of a habit than a chore. I'm also starting to get back to walking my dog again since my time off due to my knee injury. I'm hoping to keep it up, but also starting slow so I don't get hurt again.
   Okay, so since my last post I have done 2 weekly weigh-in's. First one was on the 20'th and I weighed in at 251 lbs and I did another yesterday (technically anyway, since it's only into the wee hours of the morning!) and I weighed in at 246 lbs.
    Slowly but steadily I'm still losing some pounds. I'm very content with the rate (I'd even be content with less, but this makes me even happier) I'm still on target to be at my goal weight by next year. I was a little worried because I ate a roll for Christmas dinner, as well as did a little sampling of the dessert table. Needless to say, this last weigh-in was a welcomed surprise! Another 5 lbs down this week!
    I'm officially over 1/3rd of the way to where I'd like to be. I know that it'll start slowing down soon but then I just need to pick up the pace with more exercise (easier said than done, right?)

Well, it's about time for me to pass out. It's day 65 and I weigh 246 lbs.